This saying seems appropriate for me today…or this week. To quote Pink’s song – Blow me one more kiss – “Just when I think it can't get worse, I had a shit day (no!) You had a shit day (no!), we've had a shit day (no!)
I’ve had my heart set on a job that I know I’d be passionate about….that I applied for and have been waiting all week to hear if I at least got an interview….
I’ve never been a girl that can just ‘hold your horses’ more like a ‘giddy up’ kinda girl….so this prolonging the agony of not knowing, the carrying my cell phone in my pocket all week and checking my email every ten minutes, when this company said they’d “Inform all candidates Monday the 4th of Feb” was itching away at me like a fresh mosquito bite.
Maybe I’m just tired cos I’m waking at 4am and not able to get back to sleep… mulling everything over from my week and the ‘why’s’ I hadn’t been called yet! I even got up and watched the sun come up….
Our dog Teddy scrambled up on the side of my bed and put his nose on my clean sheets…even his doe eyes didn’t lighten my mood!
And opening this new carton of fresh eggs certainly didn’t humor me….these little brown bum nuts smiling up at me made me want to scramble the lot of them and wipe the smiles off their shells!!!
After dropping my precious one off at school I took Teddy Dog for a sprint around the lake, breathing in the fresh air and sweating out my frustrations...music blasting in my ears….that helped a little! :)
By mid morning, it finally got the better of me and I rang the company only to be politely told interviews were taking place today….which meant obviously I didn’t make the cut, even though I ticked all the right boxes!!!
And I know after everything I’ve been through this is really a minor set back in the grand scheme of life and daily challenges people face. But today it was like the house of cards finally tumbled. I didn’t’ cry, but I was just flat…down….low, whatever you want to call it. Just disappointed I guess.
I rang my friend to have a whinge, telling him it’s the fourth job I’ve gone for and no luck…he told me, “Dee, call me back when you’ve been for 100 jobs and rejected….you’re alive aren’t you??” And he’s right….which is why I probably called him….it’s good to have a friend that tells you how it is…that rejection can sometimes mean something better is waiting…I hope so!
I hung up the phone, made a cup of green tea and sat back and looked around me, focusing on the beauty I’m surrounded with. I thought how shit days are shit, or shit weeks…but they don’t last…well at least that’s what I told myself as I stared out the window at our lake and the glistening reflection caught in our pool fence…the pelican party going on right outside our house.
I took a deep breathe in and thought of other people worse off than me, especially kids suffering at the Children’s Hospital, or loved ones hooked up to Chemo in Cancer wards….I told myself to buck up, something else better will come along, I’ve just got to trust the Universe and not lose faith in my ability to keep trying. It’s called strength not weakness, we all have it if we dig deep....and I know I’m good for it.
And just as I was starting to feel I was turning my frown upside down, our bloody neighbor’s dog sprinted past our window……hanging out of his mouth was the new FULL packet of our cat’s food he’d stolen from our garage!!!!
I leapt up and hammered on the glass….but he didn’t stop, he ran faster…under his fence he bolted……success! :)
I finally had to laugh; at least someone’s had a win in our neighborhood today! :)
Anyway, I hit the supermarket, bought myself a bottle of bubbles, which I’m enjoying , in a crystal glass for my mum...as I’m typing this.
My sisters twins are here tonight, having a sleep over with Dempsey while Tone’s taken Fraser out for a father/son bonding dinner.
The girls just asked me what my blog tonight is about…so I told them, and asked what they’d say to me to make me feel better that I didn’t get the job. They smiled as they said, “You just gotta suck it up Princess” :) And I have, and I am, it's not what really matters.
I know tomorrow is a new day. And to anyone fighting their own battle today, probably bigger than mine....tomorrow's, well tomorrow's never run out you know!