Sunday, January 22, 2012

Moments that mold us into who we become....and some thanks x

Life and death have a way of shaping us into who we are.  In grief we are dismantled, changed......however, over time we are put back together by people and love and memories and molded into something else.

Unique moments...gratitude....and recognizing special moments wrap themselves around us and change the way we view the ordinary.  Like today…

I’m sitting here in front of our fire, the heat it's radiating warms me to my bones…the flames are dancing to the music Dempsey is gifting me with on her new piano.

The song she’s tapping out on the ivories is “The Caravan” and it sounds a lot like either a snake charmer should be in playing some exotic flute in front of me…or a flock of belly dancers are about to descend on our home.   And I don’t know if I’d have recognized these special things if it wasn’t for all the experiences I’ve been through these past years. I call these little moments “The Gift of Grief.”  I almost have to pinch myself! :)

Last Saturday was Savannah’s anniversary and while I went into that bottomless pit of emotions, I also had many cherished one’s that helped put a band aid on my heart.

You see last Thursday, out of the blue, Dempsey’s amazing Russian piano teacher phoned to say she was selling her daughters piano…knowing we were interested. So we gladly snatched it up.

And on Savannah’s special day my cell phone rang to say the piano was on a truck, being delivered….that day, her day….it was almost like a gift to Dempsey from her big sister…and boy was it special!

So this past week we’ve had the most amazing music filtering into all corners of our home from Dempsey’s new piano….and it’s magnificent!

Then on Thursday, I got to watch my baby play on a Baby Grand at her piano lesson…wow!   I couldn't stop smiling....a memory that's imbedded itself in my mind forever.  I just feel so blessed!

On Savannah’s special day, family and friends didn't forget, and to anyone who's lost someone...that's what they fear...that our loved ones will be forgotton....that it's been X amount of years gone by and we are somehow okay now....

A family in Australia whom I adore...and who Savannah did too, sent delicate pink roses for her….they smelt sweet and were fragile...and pretty….like she was…and it meant so much....

This weekend it’s rained in sunny California….and I love it.

I love the sound of the soft pitter patter on the roof and the fact that everything’s been cleansed….me included! :)

My new year started this week, it does every year.....

I feel full of love and have had my heart molded like play dough, thanks to some special people in my life and my gorgeous Demps!

And today is my dad’s 78th birthday.

Tonight, as I wished him a happy birthday down the phone line…across the miles and told him how much I love him, it seems Dad too has had a bit of sculpting done…the rough old edges chipped away, into a softer, wiser soul through his grief and life..…in his words…

”I feel so lucky to have my family, that’s all that matters to me…some people don’t realize how important family is. When you get to my age Diana, you’ll understand!”

I smiled as I hung up the phone......and thought to myself…I don’t need to be 78…I already know Dad, I already know!

Wishing you sunshine if your cup is blue.....or snow filled....or damp from the matter what, there's always beauty in the little bits... x


  1. Lovely. And what a wonderful gift. Being a pianist for almost my entire life and a teacher of the instrument for a ten year period, I love this story. Music is a gift that can restore one's soul. My piano for life was an antique grand that I have refused to ever give up. Last Christmas, my husband surprised me with a baby grand and I sat for hours that day just soaking in the happiness that music gives me. I hope that your "New" year brings you much sunshine in your blue cup and you daughter brings you many days of beauty in sharing her musical talent with you...

  2. Thanks for leaving this lovely comment Barbara!

    If you've been playing for so long and you teach you must be an amazing piano player!

    You are right, music is a gift...Dempsey seems to have it, I did lessons at a young age but didn't seem to take to it.

    You are so lucky to have a Grand Piano, how special!! Dempsey's teacher has just purchased one which allowed us to buy her old one. The sound that comes out of them is magical. It is music for your soul.

    Thanks too for your well wishes, they put sunshine in my rainy cup today and warmed an otherwise grey day here in SoCal!
    love to you, I'll read Demps your post tonight!

    Diana x

  3. I am thankful you made it through such a tough day. I do believe the piano was a blessing from Savannah. Hopefully you will feel her presence as Dempsey plays. You have two beautiful daughters!!

  4. Thanks as always for the love Candice! :)

    Dempsey has mastered the song "A Few of My Favorite Things" from the movie The Sound of is just magical...

    Sending a hug to you
    Diana x