Forever Four.....another year gone by

From Peter Pan;  

"Peter Pan; Forget them, Wendy. Forget them all. Come with me where you'll never, never have to worry about grown up things again.

Wendy: Never is an awfully long time.  You won't forget me, will you?

Peter: Me? Forget? Never.

Wendy: Will you ever come back?

Peter: To hear stories......about me......"


Another year Bubby, another year without you….it feels like only yesterday that you were here with us all….

I wonder where you are?

I look for you in Dempsey….in her eyes…I look for you in little girls, and teenagers, almost your age…I will always search for you.

I see in you butterflies and cherry blossoms and the blue sprinkled in a rainbow.

I feel you in the warm sunshine and I breathe you in after a rain shower.

I hear you in Dempsey’s giggles.

You are everywhere…but not here…

Death reached out and took your tiny hand….but part of you will always live in the corner of my heart.

And so, I remember, because you’re impossible to forget…..

You dying will always be my reason for living…because you can’t.  And the lessons you left with us I’m still learning from…my life richer because of your time here Bubby.

Even in your pain, you taught us so much…and I will always hang on to that, your utter love…the memory of your arms around my neck, of you quietly reading your books, and collecting pine cones in your little red wagon…your infectious laugh and those beautiful soulful blue eyes.  Those memories will never leave…and I’m grateful for them.....for you.

I imagine you somewhere….dancing and twirling, free from your disease, watching over us…over Dempsey.

Some day’s, I smile when I think of you…and other days it’s not easy that you’re missing. Not easy to steal a vision of how you’d be now…and all the things you’ve missed…I’ve missed, Daddy and Dempsey has missed about you.  I will always wonder, until the end of my days.

But I know you are in my laughter, my tears, my sadness, my joy.  You will always be a part of that…always be forever four, trapped in time but locked into my heart for eternity.

But ultimately, you were here Bubby…for a little while….and you were mine….and at least I’ll always have that.

Mummy misses you...

Bye baby bunting, Daddy’s gone a hunting, gone to get a rabbit skin, to wrap our precious Savannah in…. x

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