After losing three of my family members I now BELIEVE and take comfort in the signs I find hard to accept are just a coincidence.
For a long time after my sister died I waited for 'a sign', something from her to tell me she was ok, that her spirit was around. I waited for pictures to fall off walls, or to see her ghost in the hallway....I now know these aren't the signs we should be looking for. It's the little things we need to notice, and I've had many.
These are just a few..........................
After my sister Tarnia died I kept seeing something move out the corner of my eye, like a flash, like someone was in the room with me, it happend for maybe two months, then, as suddenly as it started it stopped. I even considered going to an eye doctor it was so annoying. Just after it stopped my friend Sally called me. She knew my sister, and told me I was going to think that she was crazy....then she went on to explain that in the weeks after Tarnia's death she too had this flickering experience. I instantly got goosebumps as I hadn't shared my experience with her. I like to believe it was Tarnia!
Since then, I've had so many 'signs', that I smile now when they happen.
The morning after Savannah died I opened our back sliding door to a tiny feather, white with splashes of gold in it, like her hair.....drifting down to greet me. I looked up and all around to see if there were birds, or a nest, there was nothing, just this tiny, dainty, fluffy feather, floating to my feet. They say feathers are a sign from heaven and it since then, alot of times on a hard day, I see a feather lying in my path......a coincidence maybe?
Then there's butterflies, and hummingbirds, they say these are messengers from the other side, sent to deliver a message. I once had a hummingbird fly within a few inches of my face, and just hover, staring at me, humming and buzzing....now I know you are smiling now, thinking I'm crazy to believe such things....BUT, that same day, my brother was visiting us in America from Australia. A few hours after this happened to me, he rushed into the kitchen saying "Diana...you won't believe what just happened....this weird looking bird just flew straight at me and hovered near my face, then flew off!" We don't have hummingbirds in Australia so you can imagine his surprise. Mark doesn't believe in signs but when I told him he, like me, wondered if it was our Mom delivering her love, happy, that her two children were together.
I've had songs that mean something only to me, come on the radio when I'm blue, butterflies land on me and found dimes(which they say are pennies from heaven, a sign from a loved one!), feathers, and dreams.
Savannah's favorite song came on the loud speaker at the supermarket a few days after she died, while I was pushing my cart around the deserted aisles, lost in my grief....it had to be her!!!!! I take comfort in these tiny messages that others think are just coincidences!
And that tiny feather, the gift I got from Savannah the day after she died.....I carry everywhere with me, its in a secret pocket in my wallet, tucked away behind my favorite photo of her. It's a constant reminder to 'BELIEVE!"
So look for the little things, and take comfort in them.....I'd love to hear what yours are?
Now, when my bladder wakes me at night and I stumble to the bathroom in total darkness, I still look outside, hoping and dreaming that one day I'll see a little shadow with curls running around our garden.....
PS: Just as I'm sitting here typing this, a pretty white butterfly is flitting around our yard! :) I hope this post will bring you some comfort, or a smile, or some sunshine in your blue cup today! x