Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Sometimes to be happy, you gotta know sad....

“You cry a little then you wait for the sun to come out. It always does….” - Maria, from the Sound of Music


The scars of grief can run deep….sometimes, things trigger them, like the movie '7 Pounds' that Peter and I watched Saturday night…. or having old memories bubble back up to the surface with an old friend....it's wishing for something that you know will never come true...or too many late nights, burning the candle at both ends that makes you tired and susceptible to sadness…. 




However, it’s knowing that the sadness doesn’t last….that the sun will shine again that keeps you putting one foot in front of the other when you feel vulnerable and sad.   Its finding coping mechanisms and letting yourself cry that heals the heart.


For the past week or more, I’ve been in a mid summer slump….I have a long list of things that have to be done but can’t seem to get the energy to do any of them. Like the beds in our home that need stripping, and my two university assignments that are due next week, and this blog..…it’s dealing with an over tired 9 year old and her sadness that our Australian friends are gone.   Dempsey loved having the kids around the house again, especially one her sister's age.



My friend Vicki and her family arrived back from their 10 day vacation in Cancun.  We spent four fun filled days together with them.  And when they left Dempsey was heartbroken. She sat outside in almost 100o heat, amongst the chalk drawings Bonnie and Alex and her had created, crying her eyes out…waiting for them to come back.



I finally coaxed her inside and wrapped her up in my arms on my lap.  I tried to tell her that she has to be happy she had the time that she did with them, that we’ll see them again… But it pulled at my heart strings, to see her pain.  I cried too at my friend leaving, but I know I’ll see her again, and that makes the hurt that little bit less.  You have to find positives in every negative I’ve found.

You have to find things that will transform the melancholy moods into an upbeat frame of mind.  This week, my weapon against the blues was running.  Pounding the pavement in our surrounding streets.





I find exercising, exorcises the demons…it can give you a rush of feel good energy, even when you don’t think you have the energy to do anything.  It helps when you do have to battle a case of the doldrums or find peace when having a hard day.  Its self preservation, and it works…for me anyway.



My gorgeous friend Vicki gave me this beautiful chunky silver bracelet. I love it!   It’s from New Zealand and each emblem represents something special.   One of the charms is called a Koru, its spiral shape symbolizes life, growth and peace….it reminded me of the changing journey of grief……


And I find when things get me down and overwhelm me, I find processing my thoughts, and tears….helps me to move forward…knowing that “this too will pass.”   I know taking responsibility for things I can control, like my attitude help to overcome the Debbie downer moments when I feel exposed because of grief.

Saturday night, watching the movie 7 Pounds, made me confront some of my sorrow that lies just under the surface.  I wished it was my little girl who could’ve been given some miracle cure like the people in the movie.  But wishes don’t wash dishes….or strip beds…..or teach my daughter that you have to love your life….hard days and all.  That they make the happy days all that more sweeter.

After the movie, before bed, I sat outside, immersed in the magic of the full moon, crying.  The movie was sad and made me think about Savannah....however, after my tears dried I felt like I'd been cleansed…..I knew that the next day, I would notice how blue the sky is….and like Maria out of The Sound of Music, I know, you cry a little then you wait for the sun to come out…it always does!








12 comments:

  1. I have been wondering where you've been. Sorry you're feeling blue! Hugs to you!!

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  2. Diana,

    Yet another great blog entry. I needed to read this to remind me that better days will come. It's been a tough week. I'm in my hometown packing up...getting ready to move down to Nashville for school!

    Thanks for taking the time to write these blogs.

    Liz

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  3. Lovely Candice...THANK YOU for the hugs...they're just what I've needed.

    Glad someone miss me! :)

    Please kiss those beautiful kids from me...your photos lately have made me smile!

    with love
    Diana x

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  4. Liz,

    I'm sorry that you're having a hard time....packing things brings up old memories, so I hope you take comfort in the happy ones you have.

    You know, starting uni in Nashville will be like a new adventure for you. I find sometimes escaping to some new scenery to be helpful. I bet your mum would be so proud of you! :) x

    Oh and if you can email me your address, I'd like to send you the "Open to Hope" book I had as a giveaway a few blogs ago. I think some of the articles would give you hope and comfort.

    Thank you for your encouragine message too!

    Sending a hug to you Liz...I often think of you!
    love
    Diana x

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  5. Diana,

    I am really looking forward to having a fresh start in Nashville. I think it will feel really good studying again and moving forward with my life.

    I would love that "open to hope" book! Thanks so much! What is your email address? I will send you my new Vandy address.

    Thanks!

    Liz

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  6. Diana, somehow I feel I would like to cry with you at the moment.
    The sayings that I know to be true and love appear to desert me at times.
    Thank you dear Diana for the joy you bring to my life.
    Your gorgeous Dempsey makes me smile every time.
    Will have to check out the movie for myself. Oops. Forgot to say I love the bracelet.
    Thinking of you always..

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  7. Hi Chez,

    Thanks for stopping by....I think crying is a good thing, it's the souls way of expressing grief and sadness.

    Your messages always make me smile Chez, I only hope you are filling your days with good things and happy moments.

    Not sure if you should watch 7 Pounds, its one of those tear jerker movies, even though I enjoyed watching it, it made me sad and had me thinking how unfair life is sometimes.

    sending sunshine to you my friend
    love
    Diana x

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  8. Its so true what you say about exercise and anxiety etc. I had a bad week last week and a run or two has brought me back from the land of shakes (as I like to call it). Hope all is well over there! KT

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  9. Oh Katie,
    You are a breathe of fresh air!!

    Glad to hear 'normal' people get the blues sometimes too! :)

    Thanks for stopping by, for your support and hope you weekend is filled with fun stuff!

    sending a hug
    Dee x

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  10. It is all a process ~ and you seem to be doing well ~ you will get out of the slump and move on ~ It happens to us all ~ enjoy each moment. namaste, carol and artmuse dog ^_^

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  11. Thanks Carol,

    Yes, Slumps help to make the good days all that more sweeter. It's being able to work through them and know they don't last that helps.

    Hugs back to you!
    Loved your post yesterday. :)
    Diana x

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