Wednesday, January 19, 2011

A smoking gun? One explanation for growth after grief! x

Do you ever read something or hear something and it’s like “Whammy?”

Like a lightening bolt has struck you!

You shake your head, utter “Wow, Oh my gosh…I get it now!”

Oprah describes it as an “Aha Moment.” Well I had one of those moments….a revelation after I read Kim’s insightful “Alive and Mortal” blog.

As my eyes scanned the article, it was like someone had turned a blinding light on….like I'd found the smoking gun that explains why I see beauty in the minor details of life….now! 

And sometimes it sounds cliché, but I do see the richness of the little things in my day to day experiences, that I didn’t before.

Kim posted an article from on post trauma. It’s not about post traumatic stress syndrome, rather “Post traumatic GROWTH syndrome.”

In the article it states how after grief or trauma,

“Some never recover. But most do. In fact, nearly two thirds of trauma victims, even those who had extreme pain, say they ultimately benefited from the aftermath of their experience, according to the research of Richard G. Tedeschi, Ph.D., professor of psychology at the University of North Carolina at Charlotte.

Tedeschi and his colleagues have tracked outcomes for people who survived accidents and other traumas, such as life-threatening illnesses or the death of a child, and identified a phenomenon they call post-traumatic growth:

Some survivors grow closer to people they love; others develop a sense of personal strength or appreciation for life.  Still others deepen their spiritual beliefs or change their career and life goals."

 You can read the full article here on Kim’s blog:

I have to agree…my direction has changed, altered, been hijacked….however you want to describe it!  I wouldn't be writing this blog if it wasn't for grief.  I do see life in a different light now. A beaming bright glaring a more appreciative and intensified manner.

Savannah is why I see the world the way I do today! My sister Tarnia, and my Mum have also added to my growth into a person who values every crumb of my existence. Even though my grief will always be there, it’s like now, the world has been stripped bare for me to see the beauty. And I have grief to thank for that.

So in saying that, every week, I hope to post some photos from my days to inspire, to show gratitude and to ‘choose life’ in just the little things that I grasp onto…

Here are some moments from my past week that I am thankful for.....

   Dempsey all rugged up, on her first trip to experience snow at Writghtwood!

A picture speaks a thousand words....squeezing my there anything better?

Watching Demps build her very first Snowman with tender loving care!

Winter has melted into Summer this week in California....I love to watch my girl swim laps on a warm Saturday afternoon

 Another day I am blessed to enjoy..............Sunset from our backyard last words are needed!

One of my favorite things in my world...candles!  My new candelabra on our Friday night happy hour where I get to enjoy laughter, love and the company of friends! 

 Dempsey feeding the swarm of ducks chunks of stale bread.  Grubby and gorgeous after a day in the sand at the park!

 Just one word!  "Love"

The thought of Dempsey opening her lunchbox today and imagining the smile my little notes bring to her sweet cheeks!

I hope in the future, those of you reading who are experiencing fresh grief will also have this gift….actually I don’t hope…I know in time, the gift of engaging in life and being grateful for the little things and who you become through grief will transform you.

PS:  Thank you to all those who commented, emailed and supplied me with love on Savannah's Anniversary.....know you made a difference to my day.  Thank You!  Diana x


  1. So peaceful and loving ~ I needed to read this ~ it was a rough day of shoveling several times today in MA and now tonite I am so grateful to be gentle with myself in reading this post ~ thanks ~ hugs and namaste, cz:)

  2. Carol,

    Sending love and peace and some quiet moments to you to "just enjoy" whatever life may give you!

    Thank you for this commment....sometimes we need to be gentle with ourselves and remember to just be!

    sending love
    Diana x