Thankful for............

Watching the horrific goings on in Japan, with the massive earth quake and tsunami has had an enormous emotional impact on me this week.

And I haven’t stopped thinking of the many families and friends all over the world that are currently being affected by grief this monster has created.

It reinforces to me yet again how our time should be cherished as we never know what an ‘ordinary’ day can bring.

It also draws my attention to ALWAYS being appreciative of the little things we sometimes take for granted. Especially when there are people struggling to survive in nature’s aftermath….half a world away.

For me, this week, these are a few things I’m thankful for……

This has been our sky in California this week!

A lush shade of blue, like a canvas that’s waiting to be painted. I’ve enjoyed sitting outside, with the sun’s dancing rays warming me through to my bones…while listening to the birds chirping that are oblivious to the stresses in the world……

And with the onset of ‘almost’ spring, one of my favorite things has sprung to life.  My jasmine vine!  It’s sprinkled with delicate clusters of sweet smelling gems, huddled together beneath the bushy green leaves, just waiting to burst open and fill the air with its sweet perfume.

Jasmine to me is like an antibiotic…it reminds me of my mum and also of my sister’s house in Australia which is dripping in the sweet smelling vine in springtime.

Tarnia’s coffin was laced with Jasmine, but I find it comforting to inhale its powerful scent.  It provokes many memories of home and the people I love.  I always snip the first buds that appear and place them on Savannah’s shelf next to her urn.  They are delicate like she was and the aroma sweetens our family room…you can almost taste its intoxicating nectar.

We’ve enjoyed some family time this week….paused all electronic devices for a while and indulged in some good old fashioned games!

Our friend Steph introduced Dempsey to the unfashionable game of Jacks…she took to it like a duck to water…..and mastered it with a huge grin!

Then of course there was Chess with Daddy. While I washed dishes, I found myself smiling as I watched Demps and her Dad silently enjoy this game of strategy. Needless to say, Dempsey has a long way to go before she can beat Peter, which is more than I can say for me! :) 

Just some effortless family time warmed my heart this week.

And of course there was a lesson from Dempsey…my perceptive, wise beyond her years eight year old, who continues to teach me about life!

I snapped this photo of her tiny book of thoughts which she told me I wasn’t allowed to look at, but couldn’t help sneaking a peek….she writes…”Facts that are odd in life.   1. Life!”

I can’t wait to read what she divulges next!

And life is just that, ‘odd’…..hours filled with different sorts of moments, like a game, where you don’t know what cards you’ll be dealt or whether your number will come up next…..

These moments can fill us with happiness, help build and mold our world, make us grateful and always remind us to never take a second for granted……I only have to think of what must be going on over the pond in Japan to be mindful of just how thankful we should be for each day we are graced with!

Thankful for Chez, a stranger until a few months ago...a lady who's been reading my blog from Australia, who is loving and thoughtful and understands the gift of grief...and time...thank you Chez for gifting me with me with this wonderful piece of art of our angel!  How lucky I am! x

Wishing you sunshine and reflection and moments of peace and joy this week if your cup is blue...keep our Japanese neighbors in your thoughts! x

This week I'm THANKFUL FOR.................

I never saw our daughter Savannah run or do so many things after she became sick....so when Dempsey’s sweet girlfriends taught her to jump rope I never take these little things for granted.  Watching the thrill in her eyes and her dimples emerge deep in her cheeks as she hurdled the rope…giggling and out of breath, brought a smile to my face…………

When there's so many starving in this world I'm thankful for the delicious waft of fresh baked bread that invokes comfort……still warm and crusty and waiting to be torn apart and devoured.........

And then feeding the crumbs to the starving sparrows that wait for me now in the fresh morning air.

I hear fluttering in the trees as the birds flock to our yard…hopping from branch to branch in eager anticipation….starving, they watch me sprinkle crumbs onto the dewy lawn……I feel good that I’m sharing with natures tiny friends.

Listening to Demps twinkle our piano keys as she practices every morning, it's breakfast for my soul.  Her latest song "You fill my heart" just does that!  :)

Watching Dempsey shake out her pocket money from her piggy bank and count it for the hundredth time as she hoards penny after penny away for the Panda bear she's desperately saving and waiting for..…..

We bought this pretty rainbow wind catcher. It's calming to watch it spin and twirl in the breeze outside my window............

Dempsey had a Grandparents day concert at school on Friday. 

Oh the tears spilled as I watched my baby on the big screen to the tune of ‘Somewhere over the Rainbow’  A special moment I had the privilege to witness however was bittersweet as my Dad and of course my beautiful Mum, couldn't be there to see her..... 

She was the only child in her class without a Grandparent and this made me sad...but wait, oh how lucky we are.....Dempesy's BFF's Grandparents invited her out for lunch with them......  "Would Demps like to adopt us for the day?"  they asked me.  I tried hard not to cry at how grateful I was!  They will never know how special it was for me...and Dempsey...even if it was at 'Denny's' :)

And the icing on the cake was yesterday!  Meet Pixie the Panda...its a Fur Real Pet and growls, giggles and snores if you leave it alone for more than ten minutes! (louder than my husband too!)

My absolute joy yesterday was watching my baby in the long check out line at T J Max.  She smiled at strangers and they smiled back....with love in their eyes at Dempsey, waiting patiently, piggy bank in one hand, brimming with coins.....and her Panda in the other. 

Even the check out boy wasn't perturbed at the crash of coins she unleashed on his counter....and I was also THANKFUL for that!:)


Wishing you Sunshine if your cup is blue and a great start to a new week!

love D x

Thankful...Happy Aussie Thanksgiving! X

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I’ve been surfing the web from Oz, checking in on my favorite blogs today. Most of them are from USA and almost all of them are talking about Thanksgiving and being thankful! I’m not an American, although I do feel a special affiliation with the Land of Liberty.


It’s been our home for the past ten years, and a lot happened during those years. Savannah spent her last months there….and Dempsey has blossomed into our precious girl in the days spent on their shores. So yes, America has been our glue some days, super glue,……that helped hold us together as a family, provided compassionate doctors and nurses we leaned on, and friends that were and will always be a huge factor in  surviving my grief. And when we did come unstuck, it was the people that were with us, in the grand ol US of A that were like thick mortar, keeping us cemented through some of the hardest days I’ve faced.



I’ll always feel like an adopted daughter of America….even though we don’t celebrate Thanksgiving here in Australia.   I can’t relate to how special a day on the calendar it is to Americans! I can however, relate to how some people would’ve felt yesterday with empty chairs at their table that should’ve been filled with loved ones who have died.


We did enjoy one Thanksgiving while Savannah was sick. Peter bought a fresh turkey and I spent most of the morning standing at the sink, peeling potatoes and carrots to roast. Dempsey was only sixteen months old and we didn’t know it then, but Savannah only had two months left with us. That Thanksgiving Day threw us a curve ball though, with me clumsily tripping over Peter’s tool box with Ugg boots on….breaking my right leg in three places!



Needless to say, the turkey went uneaten and I spent the rest of the day in the ER, trying to escape back home to Savannah who was on hourly med’s and didn’t understand why some burly men in paramedic uniforms had kidnapped her Mummy on a steel gurney.

                       Savannah a few weeks before she died...I still had my plaster cast on....


However, camouflaged in the heavy plaster cast that stretched from my toes to my thigh, was a blessing that I couldn’t see that day…….



A friend pointed out that ‘maybe’ the Universe had other plans for me – that I was meant to be incapacitated and the broken leg wasn’t really an obstacle after all but a gift…..and as hard as it was to realize back then, everything 'sometimes' does happen for a reason! You see, I couldn’t move, couldn’t leave the house for weeks, couldn’t do anything but lie next to Savannah on her hospital bed or on our couch beside her. It turned out to be a very very special time during those final days of her short life. A coincidence?? I believe there’s no such thing.



For those last seven weeks I got to spend nothing but time with her….because of my broken leg. ….so when I think of Thanksgiving, I don’t think of turkeys and steaming sweet apple pies, but of that special gift of precious time with our daughter.  We never thought she would almost not survive Christmas with us that year.



Yesterday I did think of others, of some families I know who would’ve been suffering, of a sweet teenager in Spain who is missing her Mom and of the many people who’ve visited here trying to find comfort on their journey of grief……….

                               My sister's twins Emerald, Charlotte, Demps and me tonight!


Today, I’m thankful for the little things….like my sister’s twins who are having a sleep over with us tonight, wrapped up in their jammies…..thankfully they are alive! I’m thankful for the succulent roast lamb dinner we devoured tonight…..when there are so many people starving. For the rain that pounded our roof a few hours ago, providing much needed water to the local dairy farms…..and for some memories that will always be mine, of a Thanksgiving we had with our girl, a broken leg and the precious gift of time we should all be conscious of and thankful for!

                                Our roast lamb dinner tonight I'm thankful for!

                                The heavy shower of rain we got today!

                   


Happy belated Thanksgiving...there's so so much to be thankful for! x

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