Saturday, May 27, 2017

What if.........




Imagine just for a minute if you could be someone else.

If you weren't you.

If you hadn't had all the amazing stuff happen to you in your life...or the bad or sad stuff…if you're like me.

Would you choose to swap lives with someone else? Would you want to change your story?


This week, Dempsey has been on camp in the big smoke. It’s been difficult to cut the apron strings and not worry about where she is and what she’s doing, wandering around a big city….





The fear of losing her too simmers just beneath the surface, a deep seeded anxiety that I battle with, borne through grief and losing her sister Savannah. But I’m working on this demon. I know I’m a work in progress….and that’s ok too.

Anyway, yesterday, as I arrived at Etihad Stadium in Melbourne, where her classroom is to pick her up, I had half an hour to waste. I noticed a big green emblem, a familiar symbol, like an old friend, the green sign of Starbucks was like a beacon calling me in.

As I pulled open the grimy glass door, the bitter aroma of coffee hit me, along with the humming of small talk and the welcoming sight of muffins bulging with chocolate chips and blueberries staring at me through the glass counter. Over the noise of grinding coffee beans I ordered my flat white. The smiling girl in the green apron asking me my name to write on my cup.

And for a second I stood there and thought--what if I told her a different name? 

What if I invented a new name? A new name-a new identity? 

What if I picked up someone else’s cup and became them?

I know some days when Savannah was dying, watching her in pain and feeling so helpless, I would’ve stolen someone else's cup in a heartbeat.  But now?

Now?  

As I stood in line, waiting, I contemplated this.


What if I had the opportunity to exchange all that I’ve experienced, exchanged in a second for one `that's filled with everything I desire, without all the sad moments of my life?


As I was picturing this, a notification lit up my phone. ‘Snapchat from Charlotte’, my niece. Her pretty face filled my screen with the message, ‘can't wait to talk to you about something that's happened’ and then it buzzed again, from her twin Emerald, snapping me  with a photo of a blister on her thumb from writing her English exam. And it made me think--if I wasn't me I wouldn't have them….







I wouldn’t be sitting here sipping my Starbucks, writing this on my Evernote app in the warm sunshine waiting for my baby to finish her class for the week at Etihad stadium.






If I wasn’t me, I wouldn’t have the absolute joy of Dempsey!





Watching strangers pass by, I noticed a lady with a leash with a guide dog in training, a pretty girl sitting behind me with Lucy on her necklace, smiling at her phone at a message she'd probably received. 




I realised they’ve all got different stories to mine….but I wouldn't swap my life for anyone's.


With its ups and downs, scars and memories, laughter and tears, I realise I’ve earned these invisible scars, and the laugh lines and the love my life is full of. They’re mine. And along the way, my experiences have taught me to be grateful and to notice the little things that fill my blue cup with sunshine that I wouldn’t have noticed before.

Yes, there's many gifts intertwined in our lives. Some good. Some bad. But these are our teachers. Educating us to grow and accept and to be mindful that in a heartbeat, life can spin on a dime. Changing the life you had into something so foreign you don’t think you’ll survive.

But you do.

Because these bites from our lives remind us to sip the coffee slower, and feel the sunshine warming your back, to listen to the laughter and to be grateful for our own unique experience that can turn challenges into lessons, gaining mindfulness for simply being alive…..they make us who we are!

What would you do….would you change your cup? x 



*this post is for Scott Davidson, who inspired me with his story x


9 comments:

  1. Thanks for your post Diana. I've been following your post since 2012, after I lost my 10 months old son from brain tumor. Your beautiful writing always helped me when I'm having those down days/moments, like today. You probably have no idea how much it meant for me, a total stranger in Canada, to read your blog postings and find courage again in my grief journey. Thank you Diana, from bottom of my heart.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Dear Mattys mom,
    I'm so sorry to hear you lost your son, nothing will ever take away that pain. Thank you so much for writing me this message, it inspires me to keep writing even though these days it's hard to find the time. You're more courageous than you know, and I'm sure your journey has helped you live life for your little boy who isn't here. Sending a big hug. With love Diana. X

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hello everyone,
    I'm from USA, I and my husband got married for more than 11 years and have gotten two kids. thing were going well with us and we are always happy. until one day my husband started to behave in a way i could not understand, i was very confused by the way he treat me and the kids. later that month he did not come home again and he called me that he want a divorce, i asked him what have i done wrong to deserve this from him, all he was saying is that he want a divorce that he hate me and do not want to see me again in his life, i was mad and also frustrated do not know what to do,i was sick for more than 2 weeks because of the divorce. i love him so much he was my everything to me without him my life is incomplete. i told my sister and she told me to contact a spell caster, i never believe in all this spell casting of a thing. i just want to try if something will come out of it. i contacted Dr Iyaryi for the return of my husband to me, they told me that my husband have been taken by another woman, that she cast a spell on him that is why he hate me and also want us to divorce. then they told me that they have to cast a spell on him that will make him return to me and the kids, He cast the spell and after 1 week my husband called me and he told me that i should forgive him, he started to apologise on phone and said that he still live me that he did not know what happen to him that he left me. it was the spell that he Dr Iyaryi cast on him that make him come back to me today,me and my family are now happy again today. thank you Dr Iyaryi for what you have done for me i would have been nothing today if not for your great spell. i want you my friends who are passing through all this kind of love problem of getting back their husband, wife , or ex boyfriend and girlfriend to contact Dr Iyaryi ,if you need his help you can contact him through his private mail: driayaryi2012@hotmail.com And also Reach him on WhatsApp Number: +2349057915709 Thanks Dr. IyaryI

    ReplyDelete

  4. Hi everybody. I recently saw a testimony about Dr. Todd in a blog I visit for relationship and dating counseling problems because i had been having serious issues with my boyfriend and we had been dating for six months, he just suddenly changed,he wasnt returning my calls,he started cheating,he was hurting me in many ways i never thought possible and I just thought I should try it*maybe out of desperation of some sort*..and I contacted Dr. Todd..At first everything felt dreamy and unbelievable,his consultations and solution was a little bit easy and strange and I was scared a little coz I heard read and heard lots of stories of fake spell casters,scams and i never really believed in magic..I played along with a little hope and and faith and I sent some few stuffs after everything and it worked like a miracle,everything went to a while new direction,it was and is amazing...I guess it was all good faith that made me read That particular post that faithful day..I hope he could help other people too like he did me...I did a little and I got everything I wanted and wished for*my husband,my family and my life back. E-mail: manifestspellcast@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  5. HOW TO GET YOUR EX LOVER BACK ASAP? CONTACT: Unityspelltemple@gmail.com ,is certainly the best spell caster online, and his result is 100% guarantee . I'm so excited my boyfriend is back after he left me for another girl. After 4 years of relationship with my boyfriend, he broke up me and brought in another Girl, i did all i could to get him back but all proved abortive, I was really upset and i needed help, so i searched for help online and I came across a website that suggested that Dr Unity can help get ex back fast. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he told me what to do and i did it then he did a (Love spell) for me. 11 hours later, my boyfriend really called me and told me that he miss me so much, So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake, and for the pain he caused me . Then from that day, Our relationship was now stronger than how it were before, All thanks to Dr Unity. he is so powerful and i decided to share my story on the internet that Dr.Unity real and powerful spell caster who i will always pray to live long to help his children in the time of trouble, if you are here and you need your Ex back or your husband moved to another woman, do not cry anymore, contact this powerful spell caster now. Here’s his contact: Email him at: Unityspelltemple@gmail.com , you can also call him or add him on Whats-app: +2348071622464 , you can also visit his website: https://urgentspell.blogspot.com.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Things to know about Dr. Wakina!
    1) Dr. Wakina is an uncelebrated hero that can restore peace to a broken heart through his well refined and harmless love spell, his spell can bring back a lost lover or rebuild a broken marriage within days.
    2) He trained himself spiritually to respect and protect the values of victimized people by helping them face/defeat their obstacles in his best capacity.
    3) Doc is generous in spirit; he gives back his spiritual talent to the public as much as possible as a selfless man he is.
    4) His main purpose is to save hearts and rebuild a relationship/marriage.
    My name is Lindsay Cullen; my marriage was among the many that was rebuilt by this wonder working king of spell through: dr.wakinalovetemple@gmail.com
    I decided to share to share this after studying and learning from him during the whole love spell process. He is indeed a man to trust.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I want to say thanks once again to this great man called Dr Zuma and his spiritual way of helping people i lives in USA with my husband we love each other and also he care about me always look forward to make things easy for both of us 9 years after our wedding, we both work harder to make a family greatest surprise, we have a kid after some times again, we have another one so with this, we live in peace and he was so honest to me shortly, he started misbehaving that i don’t know what is going on then i asked him. Darling what is going on? you are so strange to me this few days hope i have not offended you? he said no. Not knowing he have an affair with one lady out side who promised him a car and apartment in one estate were i cannot see him also when he cannot see me i manage to stay with him pleading him he should forgive me if i have wrong him he started complaining he has no money that he has lost all his money in his business that he needs some money then i asked him how much is this money you are looking for? he did not know i can afford it. Then, he said $14,000USD i promised him i we give it to him just for him to care about his family. My greatest surprise, the next day, i went to work and our two kids were in school not knowing his going to leave the house before i come’s back i met some of his things outside i was waiting for him to come back he never come back i cried i miss him so much and he have taking all my money away i was only left with $800USD. One day, as i was ready a blog i saw a testifier made by someone in Australia called Jessica telling people about how this man call Dr Zuma helped her and the man’s contact email was there and his mobile number then i contacted him for a help and really, he brought back my husband now am so happy my brothers and sister if you are in such relationship problem kindly via Email spiritualherbalisthealing@gmail.com or Whatsapp +15068001647 he will help you solve all your problems.

    ReplyDelete