Monday, June 29, 2015

Happy Birthday Savannah!

Dear Bubby,

Tomorrow is your birthday. 

You would be sixteen! Sixteen! Wow!




 Oh how I wish I could wrap my arms around you tomorrow and hug you..

How I wish I had something special that you'd like. But I don't know what you'd like, because you aren't here. 

I miss you. 

Dempsey misses you.

We talked about you last night.....on Dempseys bed. 

We talked about what it would be like if you were here. How you might have a boyfriend. How you and Demps would probably hang out together. How she would probably embarrass you. Cos that's what little sisters do....

Dempsey smiled at that. 

I hate that I don't know how you'd be wearing your hair or if you'd have homework during the holidays. Or what you might want to do on your special day. 

But most of all I miss your eyes.  I could see into your soul Bubby. 




But I have your picture next to our table where we have dinner. You watch us every night. 

I'd give anything if you could join us. 

Your cousins are here staying. 

Emerald reminds me of what you might look like. 

I know you'd love them......you'd add to the laughter I hear when the three girls are together. 




It hurts that if you hurt I can't help you. But I'm hoping in heaven there's no hurt. 

You will always be my touchstone. 

I think of you in every place. 

I know you're around....especially when I see a glorious rainbow. Or a carpet of stars or I feel the warm sun on my face. 

I know you're around Bubby......

Tomorrow I'll light your candle. 

Tomorrow I'll send a hug to heaven. 

Please send Mummy a sign.

 Anything.

 To let me know, wherever you are, you're celebrating your special day and you know I miss you.....more with each passing year. 

Mummy loves you....always







11 comments:

  1. Dear Diana,

    I was pleased to see a new post from you. My heart is with you as you face Savannah's 16th birthday. Wishing you grace to greet the day as you need.

    Best wishes,

    Casey

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    Replies
    1. Dear Casey,

      Thank you so much for thinking of Savannah and me. it was a bittersweet day. hugs to you
      Diana x

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  2. Thinking of you today. Hoping your beautiful little girl feels your love.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks for your thoughts on my beautiful angel's birthday. IT means a lot. Diana x

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  3. Beautifully written!

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    Replies
    1. thank you. its always difficult to put into words how our heart feels. love Diana x

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  4. I loved reading this. Whenever I see something beautiful in nature, I think it's my dad, reminding me that there is still wonder in the world. I hope you see a rainbow or a moon or a sun that reminds you of Savannah! Thinking of you! xoxo

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    Replies
    1. So So true..there is so many beautiful things Mother Nature provides us with to remind us there has to be something after 'this' Every rainbow and every time i see the Milky Way reminds me that Savannah isn't too far away. Glad to hear you get comfort when missing your dad from these things too. love Diana x

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  5. Sixteen would have been a very special and important birthday. Did you receive any signs from Savannah?
    Thanks for continuing to write your blog.

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    1. Thank you Grahams Mum! I wish I could find the time to write more.
      Savannah's birthday was as always a hard one...i don't think i'll ever get used to not being able to kiss her on her special day.
      I did receive what i believe to be 2 signs. one was the song 'Landslide' that was on 'The Voice' the night of her birthday. It was a song i sung to her often when she was sick. She loved it.
      I was also browsing through our local paper and there was a job for a counsellor which i have dreamed of doing however the opportunities of where i live never offer up these positions....but on Savvvy's special day, there was an add staring up at me. I believe she sent was trying to give me a msg.
      Thanks as always for your support. You do such a wonderful job of providing reading material for those people trying to survive grief.
      hugs to you. love Diana x

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