My Mother's Day with my signs from heaven!

I always feel I have two Mother's Day's.  You see Australia is seventeen hours ahead of us here in the USA, their Mother's Day occurs on our Saturday.  So on Saturday afternoon I began gearing up for my battle with grief.....my enemy, one that lurks in the shadows of the day, lying in wait.  I felt a bit of retail therapy would equip me with some much needed ammunition.  I didn't know what it was I wanted but I knew when I found it I would just know it was right.

Peter, Dempsey and I wandered into our local Target store, and there it was, hanging like a bright beacon in front of me.  A stunning, vibrant orange, ruffled tulle tutu.  It transformed my mood as soon as I saw it.  I had to buy it.  My whole life I always wanted a little girl to dress in a tutu, and here was just the one I needed to help get me through Mother's Day.  It looked cheerful and pretty and I knew seeing my beautiful daughter in it would brighten anybody's mood.  I had my first weapon ready for the following morning's combat.

Before I went to bed Saturday night I sat outside in the darkness and looked up to the heavens, I wished my Mom, my sister and my aunt a Happy Mothers Day, and I asked Mom for a sign, anything!  I watched for a shooting star to streak across the sky, but all I saw was the tiny blinking of an airplane tail.....but wait, what was that I heard.  Seeping through our back fence came calming music, that meant something to ME!  Our neighbors daughter was practising on her recorder...the song, "Amazing Grace", one that was played at Mom's funeral.  I sat there with goosebumps, crying, but also smiling, comforted in my belief it was Mom's Mother's Day gift to me.

Sunday morning I woke to Dempsey hovering over me, waiting patiently to give me her gift.  Her eyes were huge and her smile was beaming as she threw her arms around my neck, "Happy Mother's Day Mommy, I made this for you!"  How could I spoil her happiness with my tears, I took a deep breath and opened the box she handed me.  Inside was a beautiful hand made set of wind chimes....."Look Mommy, I even stamped angels on them for Savannah!"  I grabbed her in a tight hug and swallowed my happy tears.  "Thank you Precious, they are just what Mommy wanted!" was all I could get out.........

Demps with her gift to me!

We went for breakfast early so I didn't have to see other 'happy' Mom's and on the way home I got my second sign...from Savannah! 

When Savannah was sick, so sick she would scream in pain in the middle of the night.  I would sing her the song "Landslide" by Fleetwood Mack....most times it helped to calm her.  Mothers Day morning, there it was on the radio...a song that isn't played too often.  Peter thinks I'm crazy, that its just a song a DJ somewhere chose to play....but I BELIEVE it was Savannah's present to me....it brought me alot of comfort.

And the icing on the cake came in the afternoon, again on the radio, I couldn't believe it!  A song my sister's  husband Tony chose to play at her funeral....I haven't heard it in years, its called 'Bittersweet Symphony'.  I couldn't wait to rush in our door and tell Peter who by now then thought I'd gone completely bonkers!

So my Mother's Day was bittersweet as it always is, filled with tears, love, laughter, gratefulness and feelings of longing for some special people who I can't call anymore.  But it was also sprinkled with text messages, emails and phone calls from my living, loving, family and friends......the message I've posted below made me cry but summed up the day for me.....how lucky I am!

Dear Dee,

I just wanted to reach out wish you a peaceful Mother's Day. I know that this day must be very hard for you, but try to find comfort in the fact that when we relinquish emotions of selfishness and pity, we allow love to flow into and out of our being. Also try to find comfort in knowing that your little angel's spirit is shining brightly above us all, and that little Dempsey's spirit is shining right in front of us on this material earth. Take care of your self today and always. I love you very much, thank you for being my friend.

I hope your day was special and not too difficult and the new week can bring you sunshine in your blue cup! :)

                                Peter, Savannah, bubby Dempsey and me!      
                                                        

Become a Fan