Pain can be our teacher....
Yesterday, Dempsey found a small purple velvet box in my
sideboard drawer. She wandered up to me
very sheepishly with it behind her back and asked me if she could have what’s
inside.
“What is it Precious?”
I asked, wracking my brain to remember what was inside that box?
Dempsey smiled and slowly opened it, not taking her eyes off
mine. Inside was Peter’s mother’s ruby
ring.
“Who’s is it Mummy?”
she asked.
I told her it was Daddy’s mother’s…..her grandmother’s, who
died when she was only two. Who we
weren’t close with.
“What is it with me and Grandmother’s!!! Why don’t I even have one?” she asked.
I pulled her into me, wrapped my arms around her and kissed
her head. I told her that not everyone
has a grandma, and that I know it’s not fair she doesn’t have any but that’s just the way it is.
It made me think how the school of hard knocks can certainly
teaches us resilience….and some days acceptance of our ‘lot in life.’ But it is also a breeding ground for wishing
for things we cant have…..impossible things, and that’s when some days can be
torture and you want the sun to sink quickly so it’ll be a new day.
Wanting things that will never be only gets you down and as
difficult as it may be sometimes, you have to dig deep and look at what you DO
have instead. It’s a hard habit to nurture,
but it IS possible…..
Facebook is a great example of misreading other people lives
and wishing for what they have! It’s a
platform that can easily trigger feelings of wanting what we can’t have, or
wishing we had a different life.
But is all that stuff that people carefully post an
illusion?
When I see my friends on Facebook posting pictures of their
healthy kids Savannah’s age, or photos of them with their healthy mothers out
lunching in the sunshine, it creates that perspective that everyone’s life is
perfect, that other people have what I don’t.
And its difficult to try to change your way of thinking….but you have
to, otherwise you find yourself spiraling into that place of pining for things
that will never be. And that’s
detrimental to the soul…..
Everyone has the power within to change their way of
thinking, to dig deep when you need to….
YOU have the ability to focus on the positives or accept
what’s not to be, it’s how we
interpret ‘our lives’ that matters….it’s those shitty days and shitty feelings
that become our building blocks, stacking one block after another, after
another, fostering strength and shaping our armor.
And as my dad used to say, “There’s always someone worse off
than you Diana!” and it’s this mantra I
quietly say to myself when all else fails…because there is! And that, saying is sometimes my life
raft…..it brings perspective and jolts me back into my reality of how lucky I am!
Yes, Demps doesn’t have any grandma’s and I don’t have my
mother, sister or daughter here. But I
did! And I DO have girlfriends and close
people in my life who have stepped up and are there everyday, that call me and
make me laugh. That hug me and hug
Dempsey….they are like my loved ones, even though they aren’t!
Like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz when she realizes she had
the power all along to take her home, just by tapping her red shoes....she just had
to discover herself!
We also have the capacity to realize we can change our way
of thinking….it’s there…it’s been there all along……
So today, I’ve been down in the dumps, wishing for things I
can’t have but trying to remember my mantras and remembering the Glinda the
Good Witch from Wizard of Oz reminding Dorothy;
“You’ve always had the power my Dear, you just had to learn
it yourself!” X
