Anyone grieving wishes they could sleep through the holidays. Special occasions can stir up old memories and a craving for our loved ones who’ll be missing out….
A few days ago I received a message from a lovely lady who read my blog. She wrote; “Grief is so hard and every holiday seems to spit it right back in my face! I get up and I fall down more….I struggle so!”
For some of us, Easter or this time of year does mark many things. The death of Jesus and his resurrection or get togethers with family and friends, where we can feast on their love and laughter. And this fuel can help to keep you going, and top up your tank for the next hard day ahead on your journey. Well it does help me.
On Easter Sunday, I thought of the many people who would be wishing that Easter Bunny could take away their pain, instead of deliver gifts. If only you could wrap up your hurt in sparkling foil like an Easter egg….and place it in an empty basket….and leave it at the front door with a juicy carrot and a note attached. But you can’t. On special days you have to labor through your grief, and its hard work.
However, this year, even though I miss Savannah and Mum and my sister, I decided to try and gift wrap my grief and put it away for the day….and I understand not everyone can do this…especially if your grief is fresh and raw like a new cut. I decided to make my own rules as the day progressed and try to enjoy whatever the day brought. I hope you can take comfort and hope, that in the future, that there will come a day when maybe you can do this too.
Its tradition in Australia to have hot cross buns at Easter time. I’ve never seen them in the USA however, a friend of ours somehow found them in a bakery here. They were sticky and lush…..I toasted mine as my mum always did, adding a sprinkle of cinnamon and sugar amongst the melted butter. They were doughy, and only had a few sultanas scattered throughout the bun, but they took me back in time to Easter in Oz with my family when I was a little girl.
Dempsey was thrilled with her goodies the bunny had left and gorged on chocolate all day…..AND I let her! :) It’s easy to let your guard down and over compensate on our kids that are alive. After all, it’s only a bit of sugar……
These little characters are called Squinkies and are the latest craze amongst Dempsey’s friends. There are rabbits and kittens, fairies and farm animals that live inside tiny plastic gumballs. Easter Sunday, I loved seeing the smile and wonder on Dempsey’s face as she popped open each gumball to discover what was hidden inside.
Savannah loved Easter. On Sunday I lit her special pink rainbow candle and hugged her ashes and wished her a "Happy Easter Bubby!" I have memories of her scampering amongst the grass collecting eggs in her bucket. I did wonder what she would’ve liked in her Easter basket......I always will.
The bible believes Easter is a time of resurrection or rebirth. And so it is with grief, each day is a chance for renewal, for hope and a choice to try and rise each day to celebrate being alive….even if you are missing a special someone. Tomorrow is always a new day............
Wishing you Sunshine if your cup is blue over these Easter Holidays. x